I tell my dïck to discriminate…

…because that fµcker belongs to me.

Perhaps that is a bit jarring for your taste, but it’s a simple philosophy and I think it’s relevant to a lot of what I have to share.  What does it all mean?  Simply put, my penis does not do the thinking in our relationship.  Well, not all the time.  He may have strong opinions, and sometimes he’ll even raise a good point.  But I’m a pretty opinionated dude my damn self and I don’t easily concede arguments without just cause.  Unless of course I’m all… y’know… in love and shït*.  Hmph.

Can you please explain what you mean when you say “discriminate”?

I most certainly can.  Can you please pass me another biscuit?  Thanks.

Åss and tïtties is åss and tïtties (notice the use of is and not are to denote a singular object) and my diddïck pays full attention whenever it’s around.  He may like the way something looks, smells, feels, sounds and tastes, but he can’t discriminate between a good and bad decision.  That responsibility lays with Commander in Chief, not the soldier.  Self control is not a novel concept, but I wonder how many of us are fully aware of what it means.  Lord knows I’ve made some bad choices, but I also know why I made them.

See, I am of the mentality that hormones and emotions and alcohol exist, and that it’s often the work of these mysterious internal (or external) forces and not our intellect that make us do the questionable shït we do.   Ya’ll know good and well what is and isn’t questionable and I shouldn’t have to define it for you, but those “what the fµck was I thinking?” moments, well, maybe you weren’t thinking at all.  In fact, most of us don’t even start thinking about our actions until we’re forced to take responsibility for the consequences.  But why not be proactively responsible?

I introduced this piece describing the chain of command from me to my penis because for men, I think that’s where a lot of the decision making starts.  I’m not suggesting you can’t live your life as you see fit, but if pµssy is your primary motivator for productivity†, well, that might be a problem.  I’m sure many disagree, just as many others are in denial of their pµssy mongering tendencies, and that’s natural.  I just think it’s rather elementary.

Of course, men and their non-discriminating dïcks aren’t the only culprits of questionable decision making.  I’d talk about women except, well, I’m not one and it’s impossible for me to fully understand the conversations that take place between your minds and your bodies.  I’d rather leave that subject alone and just assume you’re aware of the role that conflicting emotions, raging hormones and bright blue butterflies have to play in your clinically psychotic nature.  Jokes.

So what exactly are you suggesting, Mr. Grehe?

For starters, I’d like you to pronounce my name correctly.  It’s gray.  Not gree-hee or gray-hey.  Grehe.

My suggestion is that we not allow the emotional charges and chemical reactions taking place in our bodies to own us.  Do we ignore them?  No.  But could we be doing more to acknowledge their influence, and not just when it’s convenient?  I think so.  I think that the great majority of us love to retroactively cite these energies to justify the choices we make, but pretend to act consciously while in the present moment.  Don’t believe me?  That’s cool, but how much of your daily/weekly/monthly routine involves seeking a partner?  How much time do you spend making yourself viable to members of the opposite sex (or the same sex if that’s your thing)?  Be honest.

As a people, we like to argue that our minds’ responses to our bodies is a natural process, one that was necessary for our survival as a species.  I get that, except the last time I checked our species was on top of the food chain.  We runnin’ this shït in the survival department.  Where we often fall short is the love & happiness department, as evidenced by the growing number of love & relationship blogs mirrored by the growing number of bitterly jaded yet optimistic complainers that read them.  Yes.  That might have been an oxymoron.

What’s the point in claiming possessing-of-intelligence status if we’re not going to use it?  How much of what you do is governed by emotion?  Impulse?  Horniness?  Crown Royal on ice?  I have many thoughts on the subject, as this concept serves as the foundation for those thoughts that I’ll share with you in the future.  But in the meantime in between time, I’d like to hear yours.

*By default, the woman is always right.  This actually isn’t true at all, but I’ve been told that’s how it works with married couples.  Good deal.  I mean, no it’s not.

†Productivity can be read as waking up in the morning, getting out of bed, brushing teeth, showering, getting dressed, going to school, going to work, building an affluent career, buying a nice home, buying a nice car, learning the guitar, writing a book, writing a blog, etc…